Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.
Rumi
My name is Sharlene. I’m a mum of teenagers muddling my way through life – with all its strange twists and turns. I’m fascinated by the mind, the human condition and the way we treat each other, and am curious about how we can live lives of joyful integrity in the short moment of awareness life has gifted us.
I write reflections of my life as a mother (without a manual), a women approaching 50, a mature-aged student of cognitive and brain science and the joy of wonder.
Of late, I’ve been thinking about energy. Not like Einstein of course. Not in an E = MC2 or water-rushing-down-a-hill-very-fast-as-an-alternative-to-burning-fossil-fuels kind of way. I’m thinking more philosophically about our sense of get up and go. Our inner energy. The thing that fuels motivation and action and seems to be the grease that moves the wheels of social engagement. This is probably because Covid has robbed me of my store of it, and it is noticeable by its absence. I hate this feeling. The feeling of exhaustion merely at the thought of doing something, anything. I’m not good at sitting still…
I’ve always been a worrier. For as long as I remember I’ve worried about what people thought of me, or whether I was liked. I’ve worried about underperforming, and not being good enough. Despite never being misplaced by my parents in the fruit and veg section of the local grocery store, I have a visceral fear of being abandoned. My children are under strict instructions not to do so in my dotage. I’m terrible in planes, certain that we might not make it to the other side. I don’t like boats that catch the wind and lean over too far,…